TOP 10 REASONS FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX....
10. LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK
9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE
8. ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY
7. CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD
6. CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH
5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT
4. ABLE TO TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU FISH
3. THE COST OF BAIT IS CHEAPER THAN A DATE
2. YOU CAN ALWAYS THROW IT BACK
1. YOUR FAVORITE CATCH CAN BE MOUNTED ON THE WALL
Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur),
"Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and
give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $37.00. The
drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws
him out into the street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says
(with a drunken
slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly
enough to pull the same trick twice so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round
of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $37.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender can't believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the living
day lights out of
him, and throws him out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with
slur), "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill."
In disgust the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?'
The drunk replies, "No, you get violent when you drink."
A young man, who had just started out in show business,
was annoyed and upset when his
girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph
back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted
photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together
and sent them back with a note saying, "I Regret I cannot remember
which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged
farmhand as he set
the man's broken leg."Well, doc, 25 years ago..." "Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."
"Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started
working on the
farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful
daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.
I said no, everything is fine. "Are you sure?", she asked. "I'm sure, I said.
"Isn't there anything I can do for you?" she wanted to
know. "I reckon not" I replied ... "Excuse me," said the doctor, "What
does this story have to do with your leg?"
"Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"
Everybody Does It
ACTORS do it on cue.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.
HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.
MOVIE STARS do it on film.
STUDENTS use their heads.
So now, what do we now know about Liam <GRIN>